Well...Christmas songs by The Killers kind of put me in a good mood.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpXXpufFrP8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1HuJJOhFvo
December 24, 2009
French Press/Friends/Festivus
Probably since the separation of my parents I've been slowly becoming a very quiet Scrooge. I won't go out of my way to ruin Christmas for anyone else, but I'll hardly enjoy it myself. I know the season means too much to too many people to be that kind of dick, no matter sometimes I just want to yell and scream about it. Maybe it has been too long It's A Wonderful Life? Regardless, I did celebrate Christmas early yesterday. All in all I think it went well. It was the first time that my entire close clan was having a dinner together over a holiday as well as including Christine, my dad's wonderful girlfriend. It didn't turn out as awkward as planned.
The gifts were good. I found an 8 pack of the "Little Miss" books (ala Little Miss Sunshine, Little Miss Curious, etc.) for my niece and the first ten issues of the 1980s G.I Joe comic book in 1 volume for my nephew. I think they dug the gifts. I know they dug what Santa brought them. Simon received a fancy new bicycle (his first), and Cecelia got a badass Cabbage Patch doll. I'm not sure they appreciated the note from Santa (that I served as medium for) but no matter. I have to remind myself today and tomorrow aren't about me. If they're about anyone, they're about my niece and nephew.
Speaking of loot: I am a lucky man. Mom fetched me a snazzy French press. I'm having some right now. Lordy it's tasty. Dad got me a kettlebell and some money so I can pay some bills, which are much needed. Probably my favorite gift thus far aside stuff from last night was a hand knitted hat from my friend Anne. It's warm, it's wool, and it's wonderful.
My friend Dieter has been passing in and out of town (for those reading, this is not John Dieter). I've been trying to enjoy his company but the man is changed. Dieter is one of my oldest friends. The man's Loki re-incarnate, a trickster, a brilliant mind with a devious, devious sense of humor. Anyone who thinks they corrupted me to the joys of dirty humor doesn't know that Dieter sent me down that path back when I was 10. But Dieter has had some really tough times as of recent: my marine friend identifies his symptoms as PDST. It is bizarre to see him take himself so seriously, to watch him look so intensely into space. It scares me. I feel like his soul has been robbed of him. James(Marine), Dieter and I were a triumvirate. James brought the extreme discipline and logic, Dieter brought the creativity and wit and I was the middle balance and just being in the prescence of both was so bizarre because James has only become a better human being with age.
It just scares me. It scares me to watch so many people fall down around me and knowing I really cannot help any of them.
I'm trying very hard to be hopeful about 2010. I'm trying with all my might.
Merry Christmas to you and yours. I'll put something more optimistic up later.
The gifts were good. I found an 8 pack of the "Little Miss" books (ala Little Miss Sunshine, Little Miss Curious, etc.) for my niece and the first ten issues of the 1980s G.I Joe comic book in 1 volume for my nephew. I think they dug the gifts. I know they dug what Santa brought them. Simon received a fancy new bicycle (his first), and Cecelia got a badass Cabbage Patch doll. I'm not sure they appreciated the note from Santa (that I served as medium for) but no matter. I have to remind myself today and tomorrow aren't about me. If they're about anyone, they're about my niece and nephew.
Speaking of loot: I am a lucky man. Mom fetched me a snazzy French press. I'm having some right now. Lordy it's tasty. Dad got me a kettlebell and some money so I can pay some bills, which are much needed. Probably my favorite gift thus far aside stuff from last night was a hand knitted hat from my friend Anne. It's warm, it's wool, and it's wonderful.
My friend Dieter has been passing in and out of town (for those reading, this is not John Dieter). I've been trying to enjoy his company but the man is changed. Dieter is one of my oldest friends. The man's Loki re-incarnate, a trickster, a brilliant mind with a devious, devious sense of humor. Anyone who thinks they corrupted me to the joys of dirty humor doesn't know that Dieter sent me down that path back when I was 10. But Dieter has had some really tough times as of recent: my marine friend identifies his symptoms as PDST. It is bizarre to see him take himself so seriously, to watch him look so intensely into space. It scares me. I feel like his soul has been robbed of him. James(Marine), Dieter and I were a triumvirate. James brought the extreme discipline and logic, Dieter brought the creativity and wit and I was the middle balance and just being in the prescence of both was so bizarre because James has only become a better human being with age.
It just scares me. It scares me to watch so many people fall down around me and knowing I really cannot help any of them.
I'm trying very hard to be hopeful about 2010. I'm trying with all my might.
Merry Christmas to you and yours. I'll put something more optimistic up later.
December 15, 2009
KKKKK
I just finished jogging 5 miles in the hellish wineter. I was bundled with about three layers, so I was decently warm except my face. now that I'm down to just about one and I'm trying to get some water into my system, I realize how awful/like man I smell. But I kind of like it, even if it smells awful. It's a reminder of how hard I worked. I think we need those reminders sometimes.
December 7, 2009
November 30, 2009
November 15, 2009
November 4, 2009
Tinman
I dreamt James came home early. He was skinnier, shaggier in hair (an odd combination for a Lance Corporal in the USMC) and apparently Alaina had come home as well. Nobody telling me they were coming home and thus dashing my plans upset me in said dream land. It gets fuzzier after that.
My body feels a little less like the Tinman at the moment. The rust is wearing off in my hips, quads, knees, and upper back finally. It's been almost painful to walk but that's the only way to wear it off, right?
I have this poem in my head. It has no form yet, no arc but I want to retell the story of Nick Chopper (The Tinman from Baum's "Oz" series). The story of a man who kept cutting and cutting until he was nothing more then metal and all he wanted to do was feel. All the while his frozen stature and hardened limbs serve as a reminder of where he was and perhaps we're he'll go, because we can all FEEL rust.
Well, I'm going to hit the gym.
My body feels a little less like the Tinman at the moment. The rust is wearing off in my hips, quads, knees, and upper back finally. It's been almost painful to walk but that's the only way to wear it off, right?
I have this poem in my head. It has no form yet, no arc but I want to retell the story of Nick Chopper (The Tinman from Baum's "Oz" series). The story of a man who kept cutting and cutting until he was nothing more then metal and all he wanted to do was feel. All the while his frozen stature and hardened limbs serve as a reminder of where he was and perhaps we're he'll go, because we can all FEEL rust.
Well, I'm going to hit the gym.
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