Hey blog, long time no see. I hope you've been doing well.

Somethings have changed since I last put something of any substance on the blog. I buzzed all my hair off (I have a pretty nice month growth now), I had a panic attack, experienced a repressed memory, found out I'm going to Liverpool, wrote some poems, and have been given a chance to make some theatre. So you get the good, you get the bad.

The panic attack was well...I'd rather not get into it too much more then the idea that I'm realizing how much my mind is in control of my body. Under extreme duress I begin to feel chest pressure, the stress of this week made me believe I was sick. I had this research proposal that (intellectually) I was fully confident that with minimal work I could turn in my proposal and get my research internship this summer. This internship isn't exactly something I want but something I need to do for McNair. Or rather, something I felt I need to do for McNair. Regardless, I'd much rather be acting, traveling, or doing the world some good. However, my research is going to be really fascinating, engaging, and a chance for me to wear something akin to a "No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain" sort of hat, except with people at fringe festivals.

Anyway, stressing about this proposal. I was stressed about it without knowing it, and I was manifesting symptoms of a cold: run down, congested. As soon as I turned in that sick son of a bitch I was feeling five million times better. I went running, I had dinner with Brooke, I drank. My body just rebounded. I think I was probably stressed by a multitude of other things (this trip to DC I leave K-Ville for in about 6 hours), my dad getting remarried (though I love my future step mom), and just life in general. My dad tells me to relax and enjoy the ride but...I can't. That's unfortunately not me. I'm decent at pretending to be 'cool'. I can handle histrionics and chaos around: I grew up around it, you learn to tune out. However, when my boat starts rocking I'm quick to just freak out. It's fucking weird.

Anyway, I'm noticing the physical effect it is taking on me. And this suddenly dipped into personal really quickly.

Uhh...Lady GaGa is really fantastic. Like honestly fantastic. I'm in love with Bad Romance. I'm not afraid to admit it either.

I think I'll write more when I get to DC later today. My fountain pen is working, and it's calling me.