I'm not sure why I'm entirely updating this, I should be laying in bed texting people, but I've felt the urge to write but I haven't done so in a while. I suppose this is a way to get the engine running for my moleskine again, no?
I believe that evolution occurred and occurs on all levels: physically, mentally, spiritually. I think it's just the process of growth. In many ways I think evolution(personal) is informed by God (or whatever you choose to call your higher power/nom de jour) or other spirits. You can only grow and change in response to certain stimuli, certain situations that bring out the advantage you have that will allow you to survive or that will push you into a different situation, perhaps an even less wonderful one.
I suppose where I'm getting at with this is that I've realized through my summer that I've evolved in a way I couldn't quite expect. I can't quite articulate it either, since it's still happening. It'd be frustrated normally but I'm done being frustrated with little things for the moment. For example: I've evolved as an artist. I think to a lot of people I've been identified as simply an actor. Nothing more, nothing less. But I also create poetry and do video blogs that have more in common with vignettes then something like this. My time abroad and my time interviewing and developing my research project (oral history of KC Fringe, ask me about it sometime) has cast a massive cloud over my future. I can't just be an actor anymore. That isn't satisfying. That isn't quite good enough. It was scary for a moment because I've spent the better part of 6 to 7 years very much wanting to just be an actor, while doing other things as part of my major or as part of my job. But the scariness has passed because I've realized that most people are many, many, many different things in their life times. People shift careers, mediums, families, histories all the time. Mark Twight moved from Mountain Climber to Marksmen to Fitness Coach. Anthony Bourdain was a chef who wrote a book who became a television host/man of insight who I admire immensely. My father changed from farm boy to frat boy to hair dresser to master electrician.
I think you can get my point. That as an artist I'm under going a massive change, and personally I'm undergoing a massive change. Two of my closest chums, 2/5ths of the 5 Horsemen moved to Chicago to start their lives as big city theatre people. I'm terribly excited for them because though they leave behind their friends (temporarily) and significant others (temporarily), they are starting new lives. At the same time: these are two of my closest male confidants who have been apart of my collegiate theatre and life experience, literally from Day Zero. So this year I start a brand new day of banding with those who I'm still close with here and those I will meet and hopefully not make too much of an ass of myself. Or be too much of a pretentious fuck, since I tend to run that risk as well.
Kirksville is quiet. It gnaws at me a little but if I learned two things this summer that I can share with anyone it is this:
1.) Learn to celebrate life, and embrace tragedy. Life can suck a lot of the time, but we should still find a way to enjoy it
2.) That Gandhi Quote, "You must be the change you want to see in the world." If you're bored, stop being boring.
That's all.
Cheers.
PS- Jamie, your CD is coming.
